The Ultimate Guide to Caring for Your Mental Health While Living with Chronic Illness
If you’re living with a chronic illness, you are far from alone. According to the CDC, six out of ten adults in the United States have a chronic illness. That’s a lot of people.
It’s not just the physical discomfort and pain that come with these illnesses. In most cases, they can take a dramatic toll on our mental health and emotional wellbeing. Today, I’ll be sharing my top tips for caring for your mental health while living with a chronic illness.
Before we dive in, let me get a little vulnerable with you guys. I’m incredibly passionate about this topic not just because I’m a therapist who helps my clients navigate their chronic conditions, but because I, myself, live with one too. Here’s some backstory:
In 2009, I was misdiagnosed for one and a half years with Type 2 Diabetes. I was taking medications that my body didn’t need, working out 6 days a week, and on a diet. I ended up gaining 15lbs on medicine and didn’t know what to do. When I decided to get another doctor’s opinion, I went to my current endocrinologist who didn’t believe my diagnosis. Not even a month later, I had a whole new diagnosis: Type 1 Diabetes. I started insulin and was off of all medication.
No one in my family thought I was sick. Diabetes can be difficult for people to understand like other invisible illnesses. This adds a whole other element to the mental distress those with chronic illnesses face.
Now that I’ve shared a bit about my own experience with chronic illness, let’s get back to the tips for mental health!
1. Therapy
This first tip is probably not a shocker coming from a therapist, but I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to have extra support from a trained professional. Like I shared in my own story, sometimes our families and friends won’t be able to understand our experiences with chronic illness – possibly invalidating them altogether. And even if they do their best, many times it’s just not enough.
Finding a counselor who is well-versed in helping those with chronic illness can be the first step towards improving your mental health. In addition to having support and feeling less alone, certain therapists can also help you regulate your nervous system and release stored pain and trauma from the body. (Suggested Reading: The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma ).
If you’re not sure where to start when it comes to finding a therapist, you can visit Psychology Today to find therapists in your area. If you have health insurance that includes mental health services, contact them to learn about your options. And if you’re in the Houston, Texas area, feel free to reach out to our team at Healing Pathways of Houston. Our clinicians are here to support you through your chronic illness.
2. Practice self-compassion
This one is easier said than done, but one of the most essential parts of caring for your mental health when living with a chronic illness is being gentle and kind to yourself. Practicing self-compassion can look like letting yourself feel your feelings, validating your experiences, and giving yourself what you need.
When you’re in pain (whether it’s physically, emotionally, mentally, etc.), the last thing you need is to be hard on yourself. Treat yourself like a small child who deserves loving attunement. When you inevitably mess up because (spoiler alert!) your human, forgive yourself. Be gentle, friend.
3. Regulate your nervous system
Our nervous systems are responsible for the fight/flight/freeze states our bodies automatically enter when they try to protect us from danger (or “supposed” danger). They are also responsible for bringing us back to the rest and restoring state where healing naturally happens. Brining the nervous system back to a state of calm is essential when it comes to managing chronic illness and pain.
These are some of my favorite ways to bring your nervous system back to homeostasis. Each of these activities helps to send a message to your brain and body that it is okay to calm down. Play around with which ones work best for you.
Breathing techniques (like box breath)
Sound healing (e.g, listening to calming music like this)
Trying the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT; aka “tapping”)
Using ice to stimulate your vagus nerve
Hugging a loved one
Playing with a pet
Being in nature
Meditation (like this guided one)
The options are endless and the key is to find what feels most soothing to your body, mind, and spirit.
4. Make space for grief and pain to exist
In a world obsessed with being happy, it’s easy to want to push or force the pain you feel away. I get it. It can feel like too much sometimes. But, the truth is healing happens when you allow yourself to feel your feelings.
Instead of denying your pain or running away from it, consider giving it a seat at the table. Listen to what it’s trying to tell you.
A suggested practice could be writing a letter to your illness. Give it a name and speak directly to it. This might feel odd but stay with it. Let yourself just write without judgment and worry about how everything is coming out. Then, perhaps write a letter back to yourself as your chronic illness. What would your chronic illness say to you? Again, I know it might feel a little strange but this is a powerful exercise to tap into deeper parts of yourself that want your awareness.
5. Laugh and play!
The benefits of laughter are endless! Have you ever heard of this study of Norman Cousins, a man who healed himself of a terminal illness by watching funny movies?!
Laughter produces “happy hormones” like oxytocin and serotonin in the body. It sends calming signals to your nervous system that says “it’s okay to let go.”
Doing things you enjoy – whether it’s playing with a pet, watching silly videos, or chatting with friends – is incredibly important for mental health, especially when you have a chronic illness.
Find what brings you joy and DO IT.
6. Community
Like we talked about earlier in regard to therapy, having support is invaluable. Feeling alone can heighten our symptoms and make the pain we’re in feel worse. Finding a community online or in-person can be a wonderful way to connect with others experiencing similar issues. A simple Google search for chronic illness support groups in your area should provide an array of options. And even if there are not too many in your area, try to find one online.
If joining a support group doesn’t feel like your jam, even reaching out to friends, family, or neighbors can make a world of a difference. Humans are wired for connection. It can work wonders to support others and feel supported back.
7. Speak with your doctor about medication for your mental health
Many times, the tips I shared above just aren’t enough. Often, we need the help of medication to help us go through challenging times. If you feel like your mental health is suffering, find a doctor who can help you find medical solutions that be the right fit for you. For many, this can change their lives.
Ultimately, mental health is not a one-size-fits-all. Discovering what helps you on your journey can take time and patience. As I tell my clients: just do the next best thing. Go easy on yourself. There is hope.
To you and your mental health,
Mallory
