Tips for when you’re feeling lonely

There are over 7 billion people on this Earth, and yet, why do so many of us feel lonely?

 A Harvard study found that 36% of all Americans struggle with loneliness, while 61% of young adults and 51% of mothers with young children feel “serious loneliness.” It’s wild to think that a common feeling we all share with one another is the feeling of being alone. 

Even if we’re surrounded by people on a daily basis, as humans, we crave deep and meaningful connection that goes beyond small talk. We want to feel known, understand, and a part of something greater than ourselves. In today’s day and age, it’s easy to trade in-person communication for texting and social media. Before Instagram and Facebook, we’d need to call or see our friends share life updates and stories, but now, we’ve gotten so used to scrolling through these updates on a screen. 

The pandemic has also had a tremendous impact on loneliness since it was quite literally a health hazard to be around people. And although working from home has many benefits, it often can make you feel isolated and create a lack of social stimulation. 

Especially for young adults, making friends can seem quite impossible after you’re no longer in a school environment and have the structure of seeing the same people on a consistent basis. 

So where do we go from here? How can we tend to those feelings of loneliness and create a deeper sense of belonging and community? 

The first step is to honor that you feel lonely and realize that there is no shame in this feeling. It is a universal experience and is not a representation of your self-worth and value. Sometimes being lonely is an invitation to get to know ourselves better and feel more comfortable being on our own. It’s an opportunity to become more self-aware and self-assured. 

That said, even if you enjoy your own company, it’s still a basic human need to feel a sense of connection with others. Here are a few tips to turn to when you’re feeling lonely and want to feel more socially fulfilled.

Start small

Don’t underestimate those little interactions with people – whether it be at a grocery store, waiting in line somewhere, or with a neighbor. Even though it may seem like just “small talk,” you have to start somewhere, and these little interactions can lead to something more. 

Utilize FaceTime 

One of the benefits of technology is that it’s so easy to connect with people all around the world without needing to go anywhere. Set up Facetime dates with friends and make it a point to catch up with them face-to-face, not only by text. 

Join a community 

Sometimes bonds can be formed serendipidously – but you can also create meaningful relationships with people by being a part of a unique experience with them. Whether it’s a book club, sports league, improv troupe, or dance class, finding an activity where you can see people on a consistent basis is a fantastic way to build meaningful relationships. 

Adopt a pet 

Besides being adorable companions that keep us company, studies show that having a pet can actually be excellent for our health. Having a dog or cat around can decrease stress, improve your heart health, increase your happiness, and help you live longer. 

Having a pet can also be very motivating to be more social, particularly if you have a dog. Going on a walk with your dog is one of the easiest ways to meet people because oftentimes, our pups make the introduction for us! 

If you are feeling lonely, know that you are not alone in that feeling. Our therapists at Healing Pathways of Houston are here to support you with whatever you are going through.