How to navigate the holiday season while grieving
The holiday season presents unique challenges for those who are grieving. It may feel overwhelming to attend family gatherings, face the decorations and reminders of loved ones, or even just get through each day with a heavy heart. It's important to remember that mourning is an individual process - what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another. Here are some tips to help you navigate the holidays while grieving:
Take off the pressure to be “happy” all the time
The holidays don’t have to be filled with joy. Acknowledge your sadness and allow yourself to feel it instead of pushing it away. Reach out for emotional support from friends or family members who can understand what you're going through. They may even be able to provide practical help, such as taking care of tasks or errands that you’d rather not do. Allow yourself to find joy in certain activities, no matter how small they may be. It could be something as simple as driving around town looking at holiday decorations or baking your favorite cookie recipe.
Plan ahead for extra support and self-care (however that looks like for you)
Take some time to plan ahead for extra support and self-care during the holidays. If there’s someone in your life that you feel comfortable talking to, reach out and let them know how they can help. It could be a friend who checks in with you regularly or a family member who goes shopping with you. Give yourself permission to take a break from any holiday-related activities you don’t feel up to doing. At the same time, find ways to make room for your own self-care. Whether that means taking an extra long bath, listening to music, or just getting more rest than usual - do what feels right for you!
Honor your loved ones in whatever way feels right to you
Rather than expecting yourself to stick to past traditions that no longer feel meaningful, think about what matters most to you at this moment. It could be honoring a loved one’s memory by doing something in their honor or creating your own tradition with those still here. Connecting with others who are going through the same thing can be helpful too. Consider joining a support group or starting your own holiday gathering with like-minded people or family and friends.
Pay it forward
Grief can be a powerful motivator to reach out and help those around you. Volunteering your time or donating to a cause close to your heart are great ways to pay it forward during the holidays. Consider setting aside some of your holiday budget for something meaningful, such as buying gifts for underprivileged children or helping out at a local soup kitchen. Find an organization that resonates with you, such as one that supports people who have experienced the same type of loss as you have. Do something that will make a difference in someone else’s life and honor the legacy of your loved one.
Distraction is okay. You don't need to process everything at once.
It’s okay to take a break from your grief by engaging in activities you enjoy, such as taking a walk, watching movies, or reading a good book. Allow yourself the freedom to let go and be distracted for a while. You don't have to process everything at once - it's perfectly normal to find moments of relief and distraction from your grief during the holidays.
Try not to judge your feelings and don't compare your grief to others
The holidays can be an emotional roller coaster, even when you’re not grieving. It’s important to remember that everyone experiences grief differently and your feelings are valid. Don't judge yourself if the holidays aren't as hard for you as they are for others or if some moments bring you joy. Similarly, don't compare your grief to that of others - everyone has their own journey and timeline.
Create a music playlist
I always challenge clients to make a playlist that helps them tune into whatever feeling they’re experiencing at the moment in time. Music can be a powerful tool when it comes to grief. Consider making a playlist that honors your loved one or just helps you capture all of your emotions at once. You could include songs that make you feel connected to lost loved ones, happy or sad - whatever feels right for you at the moment.
Remember, there is no “right way” to grieve during the holidays. Everyone experiences grief differently and at their own pace. Give yourself permission to take care of your emotional needs and make room for the season in your own unique way.
No matter what you’re going through, it’s important to be gentle with yourself during this time. Remind yourself that self-care is essential to managing grief, so don’t hesitate to take the time and space you need. Make sure to get enough rest, ask for help, and find joy in life’s simple pleasures.
Above all, know that you are not alone. Our therapists are here for you, so please don’t hesitate to reach out. We wish you the best during this holiday season.
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